IF Quake: FAQ

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Is this an April Fool's gag ?

Yes and no. The gag was saying that this project is a port of the Quake engine to the Inform programming language. Such a feat is impossible, or at the very least, well beyond my meager programming skills. However, IF Quake really is a playable text adventure modeled after Quake. It's quite silly at times, but then, so is Quake.

Also, there never was, nor will there ever be a multiplayer component. If you really, really, really want to play a text-based multiplayer Quake, make your own MUD, MOO or MUSH. This is a single player game only.

If you want to see the April Fool's version of this site, click here.

Will you continue to develop IF Quake?

Possibly. I'd like to, although I'm not sure how much time I can really devote to the project. I coded in lots of stuff that's not currently enabled (like the Nailgun, Rocket Launcher, Shamblers, etc.) and I would like to use at least some of that stuff. So hopefully there will be an updated version in a few months that contains a bit more actual gameplay.

How does this project differ from Textmode Quake?

The two are completely, 100% different. Textmode Quake is a text-based rendering system, that converts the graphics into text-based images. IF Quake is (April Fool's gags aside) a wholly original text adventure game based on Quake.

How do I check my health status?

Type HEALTH at the status line. For any other command questions, try typing HELP and seeing if that helps you.

How do I defeat the three Grunts all at once?

You've got to do it the hard way, I'm afraid. Although if you want some general tips, select the text below:

Armor makes combat in general much easier. Look around for some in that level.

Check your health often, and if it drops below 80, backtrack to the last medkit you remember seeing.

Some enemies can be defeated in one shot if you target something in the environment instead of attacking them directly. Look for things to shoot.

Save often. It helps.

The id logo at the start of the game looks all wavy. What's wrong?

The id logo during the game's startup process is pure ASCII art. Your Z-Machine interpreter isn't using a fixed-width font, so it's showing up incorrectly. Most Z-Machine interpreters that use non-fixed-width fonts also let you change the fonts that are used, so if you change it to a font like Courier, it'll work fine.

If you can't, just accept that the id logo isn't going to look right. It's the only graphic in the entire game, and chances are that you've seen it before anyway. If not, here it is. Wooooo.

Why does the startup sequence always say audio initialization failed? Am I missing something?

Nope. In order to sell the gag, I threw in some stuff to make it look "authentic" to the Quake engine. The audio and OpenGL errors you see are part of that, and nothing more.

Will you release your source code?

I really doubt it. I'm a very sloppy programmer, and my code has been known to give real programmers nightmares. Also, pretty much everything I do in IF Quake can be figured out easily by searching Google. If you have any specific questions about how I did one thing or another, e-mail me and I'll be happy to help however I can. But none of it is particularly complicated, so you should be fine if you hunt around (check the links page for some good starting points).

Is it possible to get a perfect score?

Yep. In order to do so, you'll need to kill every enemy, plus find all the secrets. Some of them are the same as the ones in Quake (E1M1), but there's at least one that's wholly original.

What's some goofy stuff I can do?

There's a ton of really strange, funny and goofy things you can do in IF Quake. Try typing in some of the Quake console commands.

Eh. What else you got?

Try STUPIDFACT. Try it a few times.

That's amusing. What else?

Did you try IDSOFTWARE? Despite my objections, have you tried to SUE me yet? How about QUAKE? Or if you really want to go nuts, try SHACKNEWS, BLUESNEWS, CARMACK, ROMERO, ZORK or BELCH (alternatively, you can BELCH AT SAL).

Also fun: SUMMON CTHULHU.

I'm sure there's lots of goofy commands I can't remember off the top of my head. Play around a bit. After an hour of coding, I tend to get a bit silly, so there's lots of stuff in there.

Is it possible to get take the pudding from Sal?

Yes it is. You just have to do something first (the game gives you a hint when you try and take the pudding).

What are some of the obscure references in the game?

I have a really bad habit of making obscure references in all parts of my life, and IF Quake is no exception. If you caught any of these, I tip my hat to you.

Probably the most obscure reference is the game's serial number: 040812 is the date for this year's QuakeCon: 8/12/04.

Also pretty far out there:

If you look at the sky in the Yard, the description is a line from "California Dreamin'" by the Mamas and the Papas.

The game the three Grunts are playing when you burst in on them is Diamondback, a game invented in the comic book series Cerebus.

The pudding puzzle is based on a line from Pink Floyd's "The Wall".

Sal is a character from Futurama, voiced on the show by John DiMaggio.

And I'm sure there's lots of other stuff in there I'm forgetting about.

How do I get the Babel Fish?

Sigh. Okay, here's what you do: take off your gown and hang it on the hook. Take the satchel and towel from Ford when he dozes off. Put the towel on the drain, and the satchel in front of the robot panel. Put the junk mail you got earlier (you did remember to take it, right?) and put that on top of the satchel. Press the button, and watch in amazement as the Babel Fish zips around the room before landing squarely in your ear.

IF Quake was written by jason bergman, and is in no way connected with id Software, Activision or the government of Uzbekistan, regardless of what you may have heard. You will not sue. You will not sue. You will not sue.